Why do we fall in love with a significant other? It is probably one of the most sought after answers for human-beings. What creates the spark, the lust, the connection, the attraction or the experience of falling in love with another? Love Begins to Flow in the Heart When people fall in love, they often experience a sudden rise in their heartbeat. Scientific research on the subject shows that love dramatically affects the brain after the heart has been stimulated. Three chemicals get released that rush to the brain which cause the exciting or euphoric connection and changes we experience:…

Human beings are built biologically to interact and be social. The level and quality of social interactions may differ from person to person, but the need for community and connection is biologically inherent for humans. Social connections with meaning are essential for human survival, to thrive and to feel good and optimistic.

Ever wondered why you go for ice cream or yogurt, or a big meal when you are stressed? Are we craving touch and trying to replace human touch with “inner touch” by eating food? The inside of your body is stimulated by eating food, in a similar way to how your skin is stimulated by human touch. This is because your digestive system: esophagus, stomach, gastrointestinal system and bowels are in essence an inward continuation of your skin. Your skin is rich with nerves, but so is your gastrointestinal system. The enteric nervous system is often referred to as our…

Understanding Depression Many people have described depression as a black curtain of despair coming down over their lives. Depressed people lose their ability to concentrate and have little to no energy most of the time. They become increasingly more irritable and often say to other people they are ‘feeling low or down’.

Acceptance is a skill and way of being and needs to be at the center of a loving relationship. Acceptance provides a sense of safety that your partner can be themselves in a loving relationship, and that you will support them. In communication acceptance comes when great listening is provided. Listening at a level that you accept the thoughts, feelings, intentions or actions your partner is sharing with you without judgment or evaluation, their inner and outer life. Your partner’s experience IS – it is not right or wrong. Accepting your partner’s thoughts, feelings, intentions and actions does not imply…

The Adverse Childhood Experiences (The ACEs Study) focuses on the adverse impact of traumatic or adverse childhood events on adult health. Adverse childhood experiences include physical and emotional abuse, mental illness of the caregiver, neglect, household violence, disruption at home and school, birth-related issues, etc.

There are hundreds and thousands of people struggling with goal setting. Some continue to struggle, while others seek professional help from a coach. People know that consulting a coach might be helpful in the reflection and evaluation process. As a coach, your responsibility is to help the client decide upon all the individual actions they will need to take to achieve their goals. You will have to use various specialized techniques and strategies to understand the goals of the client. Most importantly, you have to develop yourself as a coach in a way that you can ascertain what your clients…

Playfulness is a skill and is about creating an atmosphere of light-heartedness, fun and enjoyment when you communicate. Seriousness is needed sometimes, but not most of the time. Playfulness means learning to use a warm, light-hearted tone of voice with your partner, like you might use when having fun with a good friend. It’s about having fun, and expressing a sense of joy in your relationship. A serious, irritated, annoyed, frustrated, defensive or lecturing tone does not have the warmth that a loving relationship needs. Hence, playfulness is a way of being and skill that can shift your own attitude,…

Empathy is a skill, and can be used to validate the importance of your partner’s reality: thoughts, feelings or experience. When you use empathy in the right moments, your partner can feel your care and compassion for them in your relationship. Being empathic means you are actively showing your partner that their inner life: feelings, thoughts or experience is of the utmost importance to you, and that you want to be with your partner through their difficulties or hard times. With empathy, when your partner is stressed, or sad, or struggling in some capacity if you feel the stress or…

Curiosity is a skill and can be used to connect to another person’s reality, and to get to know them better, but it is an essential skill needed to connect in a loving relationship. When curiosity-based questions are used without agenda or judgment, with an accepting sincere tone they can help you to get to know what’s really going on in your partner’s world – heart, mind, thoughts, feelings, or life Sincere, genuine and warm curiosity-based questions allow you to discover what’s really going on in your partner’s reality, and do not generate emotions or defensive responses if curiosity-based questions…

Celebrated author Patricia Love has magnificently explained how most of us are familiar with the consequences of a relationship turning sour. She defines how many women are eager to hold up a conversation, while many men choose to walk away, lacking in communication skills. In her 2007 publication Why Women Talk and Men Walk: How to Improve Your Relationship Without Discussing It, Patricia explores a wide variety of aspects of a loving relationship. She takes her readers on a journey to explore these aspects. As mature human beings, we know how things can go when a relationship turns from sweet…

The International Authority for Professional Coaching & Mentoring (IAPC&M) and Why I Support this Coaching Accreditation Body, Tony Vernon, HWC, NMC, AMC, MMC Coaching, counseling or therapy are complex processes that are provided as services offered by human-beings with their own personalities, strengths, weaknesses, overall experiences and skills. How does this serve the public well? Indeed, coaching or counseling a client, couple, parent, child, teen or a group of people needs a complex adaptive system. Coaches need to use competency and capability to help their clients succeed as a measuring system in sessions. This makes sense as often clients in…

Renowned author Nathaniel Branden has exquisitely articulated the various aspects of love in this book. He gracefully defines love and why it is born, grows, and sometimes dies. We recommend this book to all couples wanting to deepen their knowledge of love. As human beings, many of us wonder how romantic love evolves. There is a thin line between immature and mature love and in his 1980 publication The Psychology of Romantic Love, Nathaniel Branden explores many aspects of love. Indeed, he takes his readers on an intuitive ride to explore the various levels of romantic love. Nathaniel clearly explains…

Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy or DDP is a framework where looked-after and supported children experiencing traumatic incidents are given skilled help to combat the after-effects. Do you want to know more? Let us discuss DDP, its utility, and it’s time of application in a child’s life. Understanding DDP – the involvement of children  ‘Dyadic’ means ‘related to two people’ – here they are the children and their caregiver, and this therapy helps with the problems in their relationship with each other. This discipline helps to rekindle the bond between caregivers and their children; especially, it enriches the emotional connection between the two…

Do you think that material gifts will make your kids the happiest? According to  statistics, parents who provide children with experiences instead of material gifts build a stronger relationship with their children. The experiences can be anything from summer vacations to a visit to the zoo. You don’t need to invest a whole fortune to bond with your children. You don’t need to take them on international vacations. Even a visit to the local museum during the weekend can be quite memorable. The number of families going on vacations is steadily rising every year, and this is a good thing….

Cranial Sacral Therapy (CST) is an immediate, firsthand treatment process that focuses on alleviating the tension and relieving the stress in the central nervous system. The therapy was a contribution to medical science by John e. Upledger who was a renowned osteopathic physician. In the 1970s, John was working on neck surgery and noticed some rhythmic movements, which later got referred to as the Craniosacral system. He kept up with his cranial bone motion research while contributing to the world by working as a professor and clinical researcher of Biomechanics at Michigan State University. Eventually, it led to the evolution…

Intense emotions are difficult to manage, and most if not all affect the ability of the brain to process thoughts optimistically. A perceived threat to someones safety activates the body’s natural ‘fight or flight’ response against this perceived threat. It is not limited to adults only, but children too. Since the frontal cortex of a child is not fully developed, children find it difficult to handle anger or other intense emotions. Hence children often end up lashing out with their emotions and anger, or disappointment. It takes years for children to gain the capacity to manage emotions constructively, and as…

Summary: According to a new study, empathy training can help children and their mothers to strengthen their eternal bonding. This study focused on mothers, but of course fathers need empathy training as much as, if not more than mothers. Parents who have middle school-aged children admit that adolescence is indeed a tough time to deal with. Baker University and the University of Kansas of the US have jointly conducted a study. They have found that specialized empathy skills training can help mothers and children improve their relationships and achieve life satisfaction. During the study, researchers from these two universities offered…

It is becoming increasingly common for therapists, psychologists and counselors to utilize coaching techniques in their practice. Why is this so? Research shows that goal-based therapies carve a pathway for and allow measurement of progress. Creating a goal is a collaborative process. With this collaboration comes an ownership of the goal. This motivates the client to move forward and take pride in the progress. It also helps the client to not slack off on achieving milestones. In the fast-changing economy of today the productivity, continuity and growth of an organization is determined by employees’ qualifications, both personal and professional. But…

Intersubjectivity has become a topic of considerable interest among psychoanalysts, psychologists, therapists and advanced professional coaches. In its most basic sense the term intersubjectivity refers to the interaction between two subjects: self and other. It is mostly used in a therapist-client or coach-client context but is particularly useful to look at when working with couples in a loving relationship because all couples bring intersubjectivity or another word would be their dynamic to the work. Their intersubjective experience or dynamic consists of: strengths, vulnerabilities, stories, wounds, and often attachment-based issues that get played out in their loving relationship. The sharing of intersubjective experience…