Acceptance is a Skill and Way of Being that Allows your Partner to Relax and Feel Safe in a Loving Relationship
Acceptance is a skill and way of being and needs to be at the center of a loving relationship. Acceptance provides a sense of safety that your partner can be themselves in a loving relationship, and that you will support them.
In communication acceptance comes when great listening is provided. Listening at a level that you accept the thoughts, feelings, intentions or actions your partner is sharing with you without judgment or evaluation, their inner and outer life. Your partner’s experience IS – it is not right or wrong.
Accepting your partner’s thoughts, feelings, intentions and actions does not imply accepting insincere communication, or uncaring behavior, which may be hurtful or harmful to your loving relationship. This is why it is important to share your life goals with each other, as this limits behavior that is not expected, instead shared life goals provides a strong foundation to build upon.
Indeed, acceptance works best when couples are clear on their values and goals so their life road map is aligned and clear. Couples who do not have clear values and goals should work to write them down, so the loving relationship is not muddy, but clear to each other in the direction each of you is heading, so you can mutually work to support and accept each other.
Acceptance could be described as the opposite of criticism. When you listen with acceptance you provide open-hearted support to your partner, you can then respond respectfully and kindly with understanding and acceptance too.
Analysis or evaluative listening lacks the acceptance that a loving relationship needs. Curiosity is the foundation to listening with acceptance to whatever is going on in your partner’s world: thoughts, feelings, behavior or life. Try to work to make sense of how your partner is uniquely expressing themselves rather than making assumptions or telling them how they should feel or see things. If you do not feel accepted in a loving relationship the inner workings of your heart and mind will know it. But this can be resolved by working to improve ways of being and communication in your loving relationship.
