Smiling Helps us to Feel Seen, to Connect to Others, to Self-Regulate Ourselves and Co-Regulate Others By Tony Vernon, HWC, NMC, AMC, MMC
How many times and how many people do you smile at in your day? When you genuinely smile at another, or someone genuinely smiles at you, it is a positive facial expression and an invitation to interact further. It is a way of sharing with another person that you are open, friendly and want to connect.
A genuine smile activates a few key facial muscles, but mainly the orbicularis oculi muscles which can be found on the outside corner of our eyes. When we genuinely smile this muscle contracts creating “crows feet.
Smiling impacts the vagus nerve bi-directionally. If we are experiencing happiness or joy in our body, the vagus nerve involuntarily sends these signals to the muscles in our face, causing them to contract and to create a genuine smile. We can also decide to smile using voluntary control at another person. Due to emotional and mood contagion, smiling around others positively impacts their emotional state, increasing the likeliness of an interaction, bonding and a connected conversation.
A genuine smile with direct eye contact releases endorphins that can improve and positively affect your loving relationship or others around you. Your emotional state affects others either positively or negatively. Smiling regularly, helps to self-regulate you, and co-regulate others.
A fake, disingenuous or posed smile will not have the same affect on you, your loving partner, or others around you. From an evolutionary perspective we have had to learn to gauge whether a person’s intentions are in our best interest and trustworthy, or if the person has a hidden agenda or is even unsafe.
Smiling reduces stress and improves mood. It is probably the most universally recognized gesture of openness and warmth. Smile more to positively impact those you love, self-regulate yourself, co-regulate others around you and to positively impact society.
