Playfulness is a skill and is about creating an atmosphere of light-heartedness, fun and enjoyment when you communicate. Seriousness is needed sometimes, but not most of the time. Playfulness means learning to use a warm, light-hearted tone of voice with your partner, like you might use when having fun with a good friend. It’s about having fun, and expressing a sense of joy in your relationship. A serious, irritated, annoyed, frustrated, defensive or lecturing tone does not have the warmth that a loving relationship needs. Hence, playfulness is a way of being and skill that can shift your own attitude, and enhance the enjoyment of your interactions and communication to one another in your loving relationship.
It is similar to experiencing light comedy, or parent-infant interactions: when both parent and infant are delighting in being with each other and getting to know each other. Both partners need to feel safe and relaxed, not judged or criticized. Playful moments reassure both partners that their difficulties are temporary and will never harm the strength of their relationship.
Having a playful stance isn’t about being funny all the time, or making jokes when your partner is stressed or sad, this is when empathy is needed. Playfulness is about helping your partner to be more open to, and experience what is fun and positive in their life, through enjoyable communication and interactions.
Sometimes a stressed out partner has given up on the idea of having good times and is constantly in the grind of life, and loses interest in experiencing fun and enjoyment. A playful stance can create a sense of bonding and closeness.
When adults find it difficult to self-regulate themselves and their feelings, they can become angry, anxious, irritated, or depressed. If this is the case in your relationship, greater communication skills are needed to regulate feelings.
Playfulness allows adults to experience more positive feelings. It also gives hope. When adults laugh and giggle, they become less reactive, defensive or withdrawn and become more relaxed and optimistic.
Being playful shifts your own attitude to be more positive and optimistic. A playful stance also adds elements of fun and enjoyment in day-to-day life and can sometimes also diffuse a difficult or tense situation. Most adults need to enjoy life more using playfulness in their loving relationship, and with others.