Fifty percent of the American population has some degree of attachment disorder due to assumptions and misunderstandings in their parenting, therefore creating Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) and attachment issues.

The evidence is overwhelmingly strong in the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study, but most of this research has not yet reached the hands of good parents, indeed the majority of parents today have no idea about attachment issues.

The ACE Study, revealed shocking results. Two-thirds (64-67%) of children had experienced one or more types of physical or emotional child trauma before the age of 18, and 38-42% had experienced two or more types of trauma. In 2016, the same survey in inner city Nashville showed that 71% of children had experienced four or more types of physical or emotional trauma by the age of 18, and 51% had experienced six or more types of emotional or physical trauma. These childhood adverse experiences lead to attachment issues, which lead to multiple problems later on in life: with health, in educational studies, and in romantic, or loving relationships.

Looking at these studies and numbers I estimate a national average would be that at least 50% of Americans have suffered from one or more types of adverse childhood experiences and many physical and emotional trauma too as a child before the age of 18. Now, I work with couples and families to build stronger relationships and these statistics do not even cover the damage that past, traumatic, loving relationships have on us, because there is no research or evidence in this area as of yet, at all. With this in mind, I estimate at least another 25% of Americans have attachment issues from a past, traumatic, loving relationship, bringing my estimate of Americans with attachment issues to be around 75%. So, an estimated staggering 240+ million Americans have attachment issues, and need professional education and skills to help with attachment understanding, support and repair in the USA alone. We need to heal, and brilliant secure attachment education and support needs to reach the masses – urgently.

Doesn’t time heal all wounds?

Contrary to conventional belief, time does not heal all wounds because as human-beings we are more complex in how we function and process emotions and trauma than relying on time to heal us. People do not just “get over this” or “get over that” as life is not a straight road. Not even 50 years later will a mother move on from the loss of a child early on. In-fact, traumatic experiences are held in the body, in emotions and if left there are stored and they usually become organic disease later in life. This is now becoming well understood as we need a caring community, love and security and peace of mind more than anything else as human-beings.

Nutrition is an important part of living a healthy lifestyle, but far too much focus is being placed in this area without addressing emotional health first. The ACE Study shows, adverse childhood experiences lead to impaired thinking, unhealthy behavior, disease, disability, and early death. In-fact adverse childhood exposures show a graded relationship to developing adult diseases including ischemic heart disease, cancer, chronic lung disease, skeletal fractures, liver disease, actually almost all diseases. This is because emotional health is vital for the heart and mind. We need community, we need to treat each other with kindness, we need peace of mind, we need love. All of us.

Today, most people are living in endless fight or flight trying to gain or reach financial security, rather than slowing down and attaching to someone who cares about and will support them emotionally, to help them to feel more secure within themselves and help them in life. This is because a secure, deeply loving relationship is alien to most people, and even uncomfortable. But this is where true security lies, in a loving, securely attached relationship, that is really there for you through the good times and the bad.

If you have experienced trauma or pain in your childhood, or past loving relationship, don’t leave it or deny it with your intellect. Go and talk about it, work to let it go by sharing it with someone professionally skilled to help you through this. Your emotional world can be altered too without even talking about it with brain re-patterning techniques and exercises. But be aware if we don’t deal with our attachment issues and pain we just pass them onto our children, or we hurt the next person we date who might of actually cared about us.

I work with couples, families and children. The majority of the foundation of my work is helping people to understand and repair their attachment issues. It is satisfying work to help people and I am grateful to be doing this work. If you feel drawn to talk to me, just reach out.  Tony Vernon.

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